Happy Birthday Dad. You would have been 80 today! Wow, that is almost unimaginable. It has been almost a year since you've been gone...that is hard for me to believe too. It has been a HARD year, in so many ways, but I think things are finally starting to level out. Relationships are starting to mend and healing has been slow...as healing always is. I sometimes wonder why God has that process in such slow motion. You know me, ...let's face it, let's heal it, and let's go. But our time table and understanding thereof, is not God's and I trust Him. Or, shall I say, I'm learning to trust Him...He does have a plan for this family...even in the event of your passing.
I think of you so often...I visit you frequently in my mind. Paul built us a great deck for our pool and you should see it. You would be so proud of him...he did it all by himself. I tried to help as much as possible, but every swing of the hammer or sound of the saw, I could not help but think of you. I know you would have been here...begging to help, as you always did when you heard he was working on a project. You were a good carpenter dad...a very good one before the age and sickness sat in. You always amazed me at how you could do math and figure out the perfect saw cut, without any education. You didn't know much about mathematical formulas, but you always came out with the correct answer. I still remember sitting at the kitchen table doing my algebra homework and you trying to explain how YOU came up with the right answer. :)
The kids miss you a lot too....and that blesses my heart. It is a confirmation to me that Paul and I did our job with making sure they had a relationship with you. It was/is different with their other grandpa, but that is okay. You were PawPaw and they had a completely different relationship with you. You still hold a special place in their hearts. Sometimes I just catch them crying and they will tell me, "I miss PawPaw." I assure them that I miss you too. And I really do...and sometimes, quite honestly, that surprises me. It just goes to prove that a parent, good or bad, has an awesome influence on a child and the generations to follow.
Well, ...happy Birthday Dad...I truly hope you are praising God right now, and I am resting in the peace that the Lord has given me, that I will see you again some day. I love you.
